Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize