Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize