I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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