What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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