32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize