Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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