I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize