walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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