someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
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Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
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We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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