Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize