pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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