Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Panties = found
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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