I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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