You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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