The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
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Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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