oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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