Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize