like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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