random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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