Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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