Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize