Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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