You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize