I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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