You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You were trust falling into bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My feet surprised me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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