Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize