I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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