i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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