i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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