Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize