my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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