I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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