So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize