mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize