I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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