Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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