Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Couch. On fire.
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