That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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