I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize