see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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