How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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