he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
vagina is talking i cant
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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