you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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