She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
BRING THE BAGELS
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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