what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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