in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
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haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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