I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize