My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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