After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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