I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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